I used to believe that TV show ratings were actually law. Once I accidentally started watching an 'adults only' movie but turned it off after about five minutes, I spent the rest of the day worrying that the police were after me since I wasn't an adult.
One year I found a kiddy tool kit under the Christmas tree, in it was a hacksaw (mistake). I set to work that day and eventually cut the back fence in half, we lived in a large property so my parents didn't realise. The same night there was a big police chase that ended in our street, I believed that the ten police cars were coming for me due to the fence shenanigans and not the armed robbers who had shot a cop. I quickly fessed up to my parents since I didn't want to go to jail, I escaped a criminal record but had my new hacksaw confiscated.
when i was a kid, i believed the news far too literally. when the news reporter said "a man is helping police with their enquiries" i thought a nice bloke had gone to the police station on his day off, with notepad and pen, and said offered to carryout interviews.
I used to think that the river police were there to stop naughty people from pulling the plug out.
I used to think it was a coincidence that judges all had the first name "Justice".
Once when I was about seven, I took a peppermint from the Brach's pick and mix display at the supermarket. I hid it in my closet because I was terrified that the police would come and arrest me for it. I found the peppermint a couple of years ago when I was cleaning out my closet at my parents' house...it was still there!
I grew up in Texas and when I heard someone was "sentenced to death" I thought that they'd been forced to write the same sentence over and over again until they died, since one of my teachers at school made us write sentences on the blackboard when we were bad.
I used to hear my parents talk about the Highway Patrol and I misunderstood them. I thought they said "troll" as in troll under the bridge in the billy goats gruff story. Every time I would hear a siren, I would run away in a panic thinking the troll was going to eat me.
The parents of a co-worker of mine convinced him that the Salvation Army was an emergency parental control enforcing organization to be called upon by desperate parents. They often used the threat 'Don't make me call the Salvation Army'.
When I used to fly with my parents, I would always tell the security guards "No guns or bullets!", thinking that telling them this would speed up the process. My mom told me to hush, and they always searched us extra hard, even my cabbage patch kid purse. My parents say they're just grateful that their asses went unsearched.