When I was little, i thought a "loan shark" was a literal shark. I remember hearing my parents talking about loan sharks and thought they were going to get bitten by a shark if they didn't pay any money.
When i first heard someone talk about "ripping somebody off", i thought it meant they literally ripped the person's skin off their body.
I used to think the sound of a heavy church bell was meant to be the chime of doom, and that God was ringing it himself as a ghost. Grim but still funny.
Judging by the sound of the word, I used to think an asylum was where everyone had to be silent. Well, it is a type of prison!
For some reason, I used to think it was illegal to make up stories in your head, without writing them down on paper!
I used to believe that copying definitions out of a book counted as plagiarism!
My mother has this friend whose last name is Stalker, so when I heard people talking about stalkers, I thought they meant my mom's friend and people related to her.
I used to believe that if you “burnt” a cd on to ITunes on your computer, so you could listen to it on your IPod, you were violating copyright rules.
As a kid I didn't realize the severity of getting arrested. I though it was like time-out but for grown-ups; so I figured pretty much everyone went to jail at least once in their lives. I was shocked when I asked my parents if they had ever been to jail and they said no.
when i was little i thought the word "prostitute" meant "prosecutor" and in seventh grade i was on the bus and I yelled really loudly HEY JAKE ISN'T YOUR DAD A PROSTITUTE!
I asked my mom if there were still pirates, like in "Peter Pan." She said, no all the pirates had been caught and put in jail. So I believed that if you went down to the county jail, the cells would be full of pirates (complete with eye patches, peg legs, etc.).
When I was younger (4-7?, I'm 13 now), I used to believe that serial killers hid in your cereal box and jumped and killed you when you opened the box. So, after hearing the word 'serial killer', I refused to eat cereal for several weeks.
When I was a kid, every time the lights in our house would dim, I thought another prisoner on death row was being electrocuted. Just like in the movies.
I used to think that when someone was "under arrest" it meant that when they went to jail they would get the bottom bunk so they would have to sleep "under a rest"-ing prisoner.
I once asked my dad why the police can't catch the robbers since the stripey tops, black masks and swag bag give them away. Obviously all burglars where this attire all the time!
I thought bad people in real life all looked weird/ugly like on cartoons. For this reason I was confused when adults said not to talk to strangers since they might be bad people because couldn't you tell if someone was bad just by looking at them?
When I was little, my grandfather used to tell me that if you ever got sent to jail, the only thing they would let you eat would be birdseed and Coca-Cola. I believed this for years and was terrified that I would get sent to jail if I was bad in any way, and I would sit and contemplate how they could possibly make people survive on just birdseed and Coke! I believed it for a long time until I finally found out the truth. Although I am proud to say I've never been arrested for anything :)
when I was young I thought when your tooth fell out the tooth fairy would take it to her factory grind it into a powder give it to toothpaste makers and that was what was in toothpaste!
I was told that criminals would sneak into the house at night and the only way they couldnt get me was if I stayed in my bed. this somehow morphed into me thinking that anytime my feet touched the ground at night I would get pulled under my bed by terrible criminals. even tho my bed was just a matress on the floor.