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I was confused between babysitters and kidnappers. I couldn't understand why people would rather have someone watch their kids who sits on them and hurts them than someone who makes them nap.
When my brother was little he put a banana skin in the bathroom bin. We only put food waste in the kitchen bin, and my mum said he had to put his banana skins there in future. My brother got really worried and asked "Why is it against the law?" Even though we reassured him he was worried all that day that he would be put in jail!
I used to think that Johnnie Cochran was saying," If it doesn't fit, you must have quit." I couldn't figure out why he wanted OJ to keep trying to make the glove fit. I just recently found out he was saying, "If it doesn't fit you must AQUIT." (Sad thing is that I was in high school during the OJ SImpson trial.)
When I was about 7 I used to be really scared of anything "bad" getting into my room at night while I was asleep. So I invented an ingenius method for keeping out the baddies: I put up my own imaginary "force-field" over my door and window. This involved drawing a square around the door or window with my finger. Of course, I had to turn the invisible ink on first by clicking my fingers. As soon as the square was complete, the force-field activated and only let good thing pass through (parents, dog, etc.). I have no idea where this protection method came from but it worked. I've never worried about "baddies" since.
When I was little I thought people who stole somebody's wallet out of their pocket in public was a Pig Pocket. I figured that was because it was selfish and piggish to steal from other people!
I always used to believe that a robber would break into my house somehow and come into my room and steal all my stuffed animals. I had this one stuffed bear I got from my parents for Valentine's Day, and I was so scared that a robber would steal it from me. I seriously contemplated putting a sign around its neck that said "Please do not steal, very special to owner!" (Like that really would have stopped a robber who wanted the bear), but I never did because I guess I thought this would make the robber mad and he'd try to kill me, lol.
When i was little i used to beleive that the law was a big man with a white wig. i thought that if you had been bad you would have to go and talk to "the law".
when i was about 8 my dad and i walked past a 'bill posters will be prosecuted' sign on the side of a building. i asked my dad who bill posters was and he told me that he was a gangster.
I was always afraid of getting accused of shoplifting when I was little. I've never stolen a single thing in my life, but for some reason I thought that I looked suspicious. I always thought that the adults in the store were all guards, and they were all watching me--so I'd make sure to always keep my hands in sight, and refused to put them in my pockets if I was in a store. And if I did pick up anything from the shelves, I would make these exaggerated gestures in putting it back, so the "adult security guards" would know I wasn't stealing. (I suddenly realize just how paranoid I was as a child!)
I used to believe that the search lights that you can see from the airport at night sometimes meant that a criminal had escaped from prison and the police were search for him. I entirely blame this one on my father, since he's the one that told me that! (I realize that HE knew it was a joke, but a five year old little girl certainly didn't!)
When I was little I put a safety pin in the the screen on my window thinking that if a robber climbed up to get me he would prick his finger on the pin and let go and fall to the ground. When my mother sold the house 27 years later, the pin was still there, the ever faithful guardian of the house.
When I was little Mike Tyson was on trial for rape, and everyone talked about it all the time. So I asked my grandma what rape was and she got all uncomfortable and said "um, to hurt someone and take their things". so later that day my cousin tried to take my toy boxing gloves and i yelled "I'm gonna rape you!". he cracked up and no one talked to me for a couple hours.
When I was 4 years old I saw a commercial on tv warning viewers that drinking and driving is against the law and will result in getting arrested. The next day I went shopping with my mom and she was sipping her coffee while driving. I started screaming! When she looked at me, concerned, and asked me what was wrong I told her to throw it out the window before the police came. She then explained to me what "drinking" meant.
I used to believe that if a burgular broke into your house you could easily persuade him to have a seat and wait while the police were called.
I used to believe that there were no thieves in the real world. People just invented them so that comic books would have a more interesting plot. :)
I used to be really paranoid that a robber would come through my window so I always used to sleep with my covers pulled up to my chin. I thought that it would make it look like a severed head in a bed and would scare the robber away.
I used to think that it was not legal to dring ANYTHING (like a CokeŽ or something like it) and drive, since drinking and driving was against the law!
I used to think smoking while driving was illegal. The anti-drug programs at school would tell us not to smoke, do drugs, or drink and drive (even though we were in kindergarten). I guess i thought a cigarette was a drug and drug sounded like drink to me at the time.
I was shocked to see the woman who drove my carpool light up a cig while taking us to school.
I never had my bed under a window as a kid, because I thought that a burglar would break into the house by diving headfirst through the window, showering me with broken glass. As if that would be the best, stealthiest way for an intruder to invade a suburban household.
Up until I was about 8, I believed that sexual assault is when a person punches another person in the face while touching their genitals. LOL!