the law: criminals

When I learning to drive, my mom told me it was against the law to drive in bare feet.

I duly informed others when they attempted to drive bare-footed of this obscure, little known law.

Ten years later, dozens of people informed, I found out it was my "mother's law" not a traffic violation at all!

I often wonder how many people passed what I said along to others and just how many are out there are wandering around obeying "mom's law." haha

When I was very young I was listening to the radio, when a guy said a man was arrested for child pornography. I asked my mother what this was, and she said "He took bad pictures of children".

So then a few weeks later, I saw my friend drawing a mustache on a photo of his sister! Then I ran to his mother and yelled "HE'S DOING CHILD PORNOGRAPHY!".

When I was about four, I believed that statues ( the big ones in parks) were bad people covered over with cement. I didn't understand why they had to cover their horses with cement too sometimes!
I thought this is how criminals were punished before there were prisons!

I always used to think that there was an invisible mafia and they were always trying to shoot me with their guns. But every movement I made throughout the day would "dodge" the bullets and never get hit. I could only imagine how angry they would get as they kept missing. maybe they should take mafia-shooting lessons..............invisibly

When I was little I wanted to learn to ride a bike without the training wheels. My dad told me that if he took them off my bike he could never put them back on beacause it was against the law. I cried and cried untill finnally my grandpa told me he was lieing.

I used to only sleep with this one red blanket because I thought if someone broke into our house and tried to kill us, they would think I was already dead and covered in blood. One time my parents sneaked into my room to see if I was sleeping and I thought they wee killers. I screamed "Im dead leave me alone". They still talk about it.

when i was in about pre-school,my dad used to take me to jury duty (or at least i think it was jury duty)with him after pre-school because there was no one to watch me. well one time i remeber i was sitting on a hard wooden bench and looking up at the terrifying judge. my dad's approach to make sure i was quiet was to tell me that if i had talked at all,that judge would throw me in jail. true to that approach,i hadnt said a word...

When I was young I once read statistics about rape in a magazine, and didn't know what the word meant. When I asked my dad, he said it was "when a man attacks a woman." It made sense to me that this was a worse crime than simple assault, and deserved a separate name.

I was in a grocery store when i saw a lady 'steal' a grape. i was in a policeman stage that every boy goes through and i had these little plastic handcuffs. I took them and i said 'lady, you're under arrest.' She started to quickly walk away and i started screaming, 'theif!' the whole store was looking at her and me. In the car my mom took away my handcuffs and told me that i should never do that again. I was very upset that i couldn't save the world.

I was always a good little kid. My reasoning was, "What's the worst that they can do to you if you're bad?" Well, you can get detention, then be suspended, then they can arrest you and put you in jail and then put you on trial and if you were still bad, they could kill you. I didn't want to die because I still wanted a pony.

when i was in preschool, one of my friends in the class told me that a murderer lived next door to the school house. i was scared for weeks to go outside and look over the fence at that house. but then my dad told me that he knew the guy that lived in the house and that he wasnt a murderer.

when i was about four i stole a pack of gum from the store and later my mom found out how i got the gum. she told me i had to go back, give the gum back, and apologize. i told her i wouldnt go back untill she told me if i didnt i would go to baby jail, so until i was seven i never did anything bad because i didnt want to go to baby jail.

I used to believe that when the judge sentenced a criminal to an impossibly long sentence (like 100+ years) that they kept his body in prison after he died until it was there for the whole sentence.

when i was litte, like 7 or so, i would always put my money away in a certain way, i would but the higher bills on the very bottom then the lowers bills then i'd cover it with quarters and then dimes and then nickles and then pennies, that way if someone came in through my money looking to steel my money they would think that i didn't have that much since they couldn't see it

well you know how things will move in the night cuz someone in another part of the house may have jumped or what not? well that would always happen and i would hear my money move, so i thought that there was a bank robber hiding under my bed and whenever i went to bed and turned off the lights, he would take some of my money, not all of it, but enough so that he got plenty but didn't make it look n e one took anything

When I was little, about 8, I thought there was a murderer hiding in the hamper, waiting until it was night so he could kill us. I would always pretend I was brave and dig through the hamper everyday to make sure there wasnt anyone in there. I even had a dream about it and everything!

I used to believe avidly in the idea of "if you can't see them, they can't see you." I had an irrational fear of burglars coming in through the windows of my room(which is on the second floor), so every night, I'd get all of my toy stuffed animals and make a fortress on my bed so that I couldn't see any windows and I was hidden. Then I started worrying that since my eyes were so far from my feet, that the burglars would see my feet and know i was there and kill me. To protect me then, I spent a pretty long time before I went to sleep every night trying to think as if my eyes were on my toes so that I couldn't be seen at all.