the law: criminals

I thought a "cat burglar" was either a burglar who stole cats, or some kind of evil cat that burgled....wasn't quite sure if I could believe my mom when she told me what it actually meant.

I used to believe that when a woman was raped, she was actually being scraped. So for a while I said to anybody that would listen that when I fell off my bike I was raped. Needless to say alot of my teacers talked to my parents.

I used to believe that if I used the bathroom in the middle of the night, the duration of the flush would be just enough time for the robbers to break into the house (without being heard over the sound of the flush) and get me. Petrified, I would flush and then run back to my room as fast as humanly possible, get under the covers barely peeking out, listening for the robbers. And out of breath from the sprint back to my room, I didn't breathe too loudly or else I might not hear the robbers coming to get me. Or I didn't flush.

I used to believe (for quite a long time actually) that when somebody was 'Raped' it meant that they had been attacked by a 'Rake' the garden tool used for clearing up leaves. I always thought it was a horrible way to be attacked... which I guess it is.

When I was little I used to try to balance on the edge of the kerb as I walked along it.

Believing this to be "kerb crawling", my mum was pretty shocked when I loudly announced that this was what I was doing and that it was illegal!

I was told at a young age that rape meant killed by a knife. So on the news once, I heard that a lady was raped and then hours later shot to death. I was SO confused, and asked my parents to explain. That means I learned about Rape and Sex at the same time, in fifth grade!

I remember reports of housefires on tv catching my ear. They often said that "arson" was suspected. I couldn't figure out why they couldn't catch this guy. They already knew his name...

I used to believe that when people said a criminal was going to "the slammer," that the slammer was some sort of machine that crushed people. So when Boss Hogg would state that he was going to put those Duke Boys in the slammer, I actually thought that he meant to execute them.

When I was in second grade, there was a scare, someone luring kids into his car. Our teacher told us about a man in a green car when she was a kid "He yelled at us, and was taking his clothes off, being ugly..." She must have meant to tell us to watch out for ANY stranger, but her badly thought-out, stammering explanation came out as "ANY man in a green car."

For about three years, I FREAKED whenever I saw a man in a green car. If I was outside, I hid behind my mother. If I was in our car, I would duck down in the back-seat.

I understood that what I heard in stories wasn’t necessarily true, so I didn’t believe thieves actually existed.

I too thought that rape was when a man came up to a woman on the street & tore off all her clothes. I had a good reason for believing that, though -- it was what my Mum told me when I asked her what "rape" meant. To this day, I still have that image when I hear the word, even though I now,unfortunately, know better.

I used to believe that if I went to bed with my glasses on I would be more on guard against thieves and wierdos in the night.

Because of how people use the word `aggravate', I thought that `aggravated assault' must be a lesser charge than other assault, because obviously it's worse to attack without provocation.

I used to believe the crime of "Murder" was when when someone had been killed by being shot up bottom with a shotgun.

In our town the slang name for police vans was 'meat wagons'. For an embarrassingly long time I believed that they actually carted off criminals in a butcher's van along with the legs of lamb and stuff.

I used to believe that all 'bad people' (criminals) were short, unshaven and ugly and wore black-and-white striped shirts because that's how they were always pictured in storybooks. If only it were that obvious in real life!