i used to believe

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criminals

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When I was about 7, I thought that all robbers could be easily recognized by their thuggish appearance, broken noses, 5:00 shadow and black-and-white horizontally-striped shirts. Once my brother and I got toy rubber bats (as in flying mammals), and we walked around the block looking for robbers. The idea was to shake the bats in their faces and scare them away. We didn't find any. What a boring neighborhood.

Nicholas Dollak
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i used to believe that when you sleep you had to cover your whole body. and if you didnt a robber would come in and cut off whatever part of your body was showing. sometimes i left my hair out hoping i could get just a haircut

tommy
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I am from the UK and the first time we went to America my Dad told me that it was the law to salute a picture of the President of the USA whenever you saw one. I looked pretty stupid in the airport when I saluted a picture of Bill Clinton, and was really worried my family would be arrested because they didn't!

Anon
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I thought if someone paid your bail you didn't have to go to jail at all even if you were convicted i.e it was like a get out of jail free card. I figured most people just couldn't afford it and that's why they stayed in jail.

Bootlebat
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I thought that there had to be a "criminal store" where one could buy burglar masks and those striped sweaters burglars were portrayed as wearing, guns, glass cutters, etc. I asked my dad where criminals got their guns. He said, "on the steet". I knew that meant OUR street, so I was looking out for handguns scattered in the gutter. He also explaned on said street is where they have to buy silencers for the guns too - because silencers are illegal. This was doubly confusing becasue shooting people in general seemed illegal.

tracy
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I used to be really paranoid about robbers breaking into our house when I was younger....

So my grand plan to thwart the criminals was to pretend to be a robber too - by dressing all in black, with a black stripy jumper, and a eye mask and a sack that had 'Swag' printed on it. Then I could go to the robbers hideout with them, and get all our stuff back.

My parents gently dissuaded me, saying that we didn't need any extra security, and it would be very dangerous for me.

Probably just as well - I would have looked more like 'Hamburglar' (remember him?!) than a robber! In fact, that's probably where I got the idea from!!

Sarzi
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when I was young I thought when your tooth fell out the tooth fairy would take it to her factory grind it into a powder give it to toothpaste makers and that was what was in toothpaste!

meg
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I used to believe that there was only one law at a time, and that they changed the law once a year to something else. So, one year you might have to wear your seatbelt, the next year it would be against the law to steal things.

Not a bad idea, how simple would that make things?

Gerard McGarry
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I used to believe that if someone stole the keys to your house, they'd get to keep your house and everything in it.

Anon
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I thought identity theft is when someone kills someone else and literally steals their identity (like they shapechange into them somehow)

Lord Nagafen
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In our town the slang name for police vans was 'meat wagons'. For an embarrassingly long time I believed that they actually carted off criminals in a butcher's van along with the legs of lamb and stuff.

Emma
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I used to be terrified of robbers breaking into our house. I used to get in trouble because I wouldn't close my eyes during prayers at bed time. I was watching out for robbers! I thought that was the perfect opportunity to rob us, when we all had our eyes closed!

It didn't help that our bored neighbor boys were peeping toms, and I would see them looking in the windows!

me again
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I believed that burglars ate soap & lipstick

Karen
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When my little sister was about four and was obsessed with all things girly, she used to think it was against the law for a girl not to wear a dress. I was a tomboy and she threatened to call the cops whenever I wore jeans.

Hope
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When I was little my friend moved away and gave me her shovel. I somehow got it into my head that I had stolen it and cryed for an hour because I thought I'd go to jail.
And my lovely brother told me I probably would.

Kitty
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I once thought, when I was three I think, that people would steal cars by just picking them up and running away! I had a little image in my head of a blond guy running up to our car, picking it up (as if it were only 5 lbs,) and running away! This made me wonder why millions of cars don't get stolen every day

Peter
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When I was younger (4-7?, I'm 13 now), I used to believe that serial killers hid in your cereal box and jumped and killed you when you opened the box. So, after hearing the word 'serial killer', I refused to eat cereal for several weeks.

Turner
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I thought there might be a law that you needed to be a certain age to buy a cup of coffee. I was almost suprised as a teenager that I could get away with it.

Giselle
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When i was 5-6 my mum and dad told me that if i didnt turn off my bedroom light when it was empty, the bedroom light police would arrest me.
Then 1 night the phone rang and i answered it and the people on the other end said they were the bedroom light police giving me a warning.
I realise now it was my dad on his mobile.

Turn off that light!
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I used to believe that when the streetlights came on it was illegal for children to be outside.

Anon
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