criminals

I thought identity theft is when someone kills someone else and literally steals their identity (like they shapechange into them somehow)

Lord Nagafen

I used to believe that torturing a person meant flashing a torchlight onto the face of a person till he almost went blind and begged for help!

Pooja

When I was really little I used to believe that kidnappers were people who took you from the sidewalk when you were alone and threw you in a crib and forced you to sleep/take a nap.

I take everything literally

I asked my mom if there were still pirates, like in "Peter Pan." She said, no all the pirates had been caught and put in jail. So I believed that if you went down to the county jail, the cells would be full of pirates (complete with eye patches, peg legs, etc.).

George Lane

When I was about 7, I thought that all robbers could be easily recognized by their thuggish appearance, broken noses, 5:00 shadow and black-and-white horizontally-striped shirts. Once my brother and I got toy rubber bats (as in flying mammals), and we walked around the block looking for robbers. The idea was to shake the bats in their faces and scare them away. We didn't find any. What a boring neighborhood.

Nicholas Dollak

I used to be really paranoid about robbers breaking into our house when I was younger....

So my grand plan to thwart the criminals was to pretend to be a robber too - by dressing all in black, with a black stripy jumper, and a eye mask and a sack that had 'Swag' printed on it. Then I could go to the robbers hideout with them, and get all our stuff back.

My parents gently dissuaded me, saying that we didn't need any extra security, and it would be very dangerous for me.

Probably just as well - I would have looked more like 'Hamburglar' (remember him?!) than a robber! In fact, that's probably where I got the idea from!!

Sarzi

i used to believe that when you sleep you had to cover your whole body. and if you didnt a robber would come in and cut off whatever part of your body was showing. sometimes i left my hair out hoping i could get just a haircut

tommy

When I was younger (4-7?, I'm 13 now), I used to believe that serial killers hid in your cereal box and jumped and killed you when you opened the box. So, after hearing the word 'serial killer', I refused to eat cereal for several weeks.

Turner

I thought that there had to be a "criminal store" where one could buy burglar masks and those striped sweaters burglars were portrayed as wearing, guns, glass cutters, etc. I asked my dad where criminals got their guns. He said, "on the steet". I knew that meant OUR street, so I was looking out for handguns scattered in the gutter. He also explaned on said street is where they have to buy silencers for the guns too - because silencers are illegal. This was doubly confusing becasue shooting people in general seemed illegal.

tracy

I thought if I went around yelling "The Mafia sucks!" someone from the Mafia would kill me

Mexicrat

I used to believe that there was only one law at a time, and that they changed the law once a year to something else. So, one year you might have to wear your seatbelt, the next year it would be against the law to steal things.

Not a bad idea, how simple would that make things?

Gerard McGarry

I used to believe that if someone stole the keys to your house, they'd get to keep your house and everything in it.

Anon

I believed that burglars ate soap & lipstick

Karen

In our town the slang name for police vans was 'meat wagons'. For an embarrassingly long time I believed that they actually carted off criminals in a butcher's van along with the legs of lamb and stuff.

Emma

I used to be terrified of robbers breaking into our house. I used to get in trouble because I wouldn't close my eyes during prayers at bed time. I was watching out for robbers! I thought that was the perfect opportunity to rob us, when we all had our eyes closed!

It didn't help that our bored neighbor boys were peeping toms, and I would see them looking in the windows!

me again

When i was 5-6 my mum and dad told me that if i didnt turn off my bedroom light when it was empty, the bedroom light police would arrest me.
Then 1 night the phone rang and i answered it and the people on the other end said they were the bedroom light police giving me a warning.
I realise now it was my dad on his mobile.

Turn off that light!

I used to believe that when the streetlights came on it was illegal for children to be outside.

Anon

When I was little, I thought every family had its own lawyer because people said "I'll contact MY lawyer" or "I'll have MY lawyer look it over." After all, we had OUR house, MY OWN bike, etc., that belonged to us/me exclusively. Only I couldn't figure out where the lawyer was kept or how each family could afford one.

Robbie

When my little sister was about four and was obsessed with all things girly, she used to think it was against the law for a girl not to wear a dress. I was a tomboy and she threatened to call the cops whenever I wore jeans.

Hope

When I was little my friend moved away and gave me her shovel. I somehow got it into my head that I had stolen it and cryed for an hour because I thought I'd go to jail.
And my lovely brother told me I probably would.

Kitty