criminalsShow most recent or highest rated first. Common beliefs in this section include:
When I was about 3 or 4 years old, I thought that assault and battery happened when salt was poured on a battery. My lawyer wife loves this.
I believed that when someone "broke the law", that meant it was no longer a law. Congress would have to make the law over again. What a lot of work!
When i was younger i must have been told that people who went to jail didn't go to heaven. I interpreted this as people who go to jail wouldn't die.
I was terrified of going to jail, i had visions of myself in jail thousands of years from now when humans were extinct and the land had been taken over by crocodiles that were coming to eat me...
We live in a state that gets threated by hurricanes every year, so on major highways and such we had Evacuation Route signs. When I was little I used to believe that escaped criminals put up those signs to tell their prison friends where to go. Whenever I heard about a prisoner breaking out of jail I wondered why the police didn't just follow those signs.
I used to believe that Prosecution meant Execution so whenever I saw a sign that said "Shoplifters will be Prosecuted" I thought "Oh my gosh if I steal this they're going to kill me!".
I used to believe that if somebody manages to break into someone's house, they are legally entitled to stay there, and that's why people lock their doors.
When I was little I used to try to balance on the edge of the kerb as I walked along it.
Believing this to be "kerb crawling", my mum was pretty shocked when I loudly announced that this was what I was doing and that it was illegal!
When I was little, I used to believe that when someone was "drinking and driving", that meant they could be drinking anything. Needless to say, I got very nervous when my mom opened a cola while driving.
For a few years i believed that there was a large man whos goal it was to make it to my house and capture me and that he would spend as much time on this as necessary. I believed that he could only make progress while i myself was walking or running(i.e. he could take steps only when i did). So this being the case i ran as fast as possible everywhere, especially in my garage where i believed the danger was greatly increased. He never made it, i think he knew i was onto him.
I used think being mugged was when someone knocked you out by hitting you with a cup, then stealing your money.
When I was young, I though burglars wouldn't rob your house if it was raining. They wouldn't want to get wet, would they?
Up until I was nine or ten, I believed that if you broke the law--for anything, ever--you would go to jail for the rest of your life. I didn't know that there were such things as five-year or even three-month sentences. You went to jail, end of story, never came out.
I was very confused when I watched the third Wallace and Grommit movie and the paper said "Grommit gets life" for being framed as a sheep-stealer. I thought that meant he was going to be executed.
I used to think that if our house was burgled the burglars would steal my teddy bear because they were obviously horrid people and would do it to be mean.
When I was younger I was always afraid my house was going to be broken into. I didn't want them to kill anyone, so when my dad opened the car door so I could get out (the child lock was on) I would dash out of the car and ring the doorbell madly, so all the burglars would know to get out of the house, and wouldn't become desperate enough to kill someone! To this very day I ring doorbells like that.
When my friends slept over my house years ago I always made them sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. This way, when the bad people broke into my house at night and entered my room, they would be closer and, therefore, be murdered instead of me. I never told them this though, of course. They just thought I was picky on which side of my bed I slept on.
I used to get very upset seeing reconstructions of crimes. I could never understand why instead of stopping the armed robbery/kidnapping/murder some heartless sod had just videod it instead. I was far too old to admit to before i understood the difference!
I suppose that from the ages of about 6-8 I must have thought murders were a pretty common occurence, and that murderers must be generally on the prowl for sneaking in people's windows and stabbing up little kids. I suppose this is what I believed, as I distinctly remember piling my (not inconsiderable amount of) cuddley toys on top of me at night. I remember feeling very bad that I was putting my own life and feeling before those of my cuddlies, but doing it none the less. My idea being that is a murderer should come through my window his knife might not reach me through all my cuddley toys. It neither occurred to me that it was reasonably unlikely that a murderer would come in through my window, nor thathe might have some other weapon than a knife - say, a gun - against which my cuddley toys would provide no defense at all.
I used to believe that a widower was a guy who killed married husbands to make thier wife a widow
When i was small, after seeing a poster in mcdonalds, i thought that robbers were little burgers with blindfolds. It made sence because another name for them was 'burglars'
As a kid I didn't realize the severity of getting arrested. I though it was like time-out but for grown-ups; so I figured pretty much everyone went to jail at least once in their lives. I was shocked when I asked my parents if they had ever been to jail and they said no.