the law: police

I knew that Scotland Yard was something to do with the police, but I couldn't figure out why the Scottish always had to solve crimes, no matter where in Britain they occurred.

I remember taking a tour of a police station and discovering they had a machine called a lie detector. this meant that any statement you could make it could tell you true or false whether or not you knew the answer. or anybody did.

When I was 4 or 5, everytime a TV would broadcast an EAS test, my brother would tell me it was an FBI alert and that a killer had escaped and was coming after me!

When I was 4 or 5, my older brother and I were playing out on our front lawn when a man drove up and asked us, "Is this Ellington Drive?" It was, so I told him "Yes." Later, my brother imformed me that it was illegal to talk to strangers. For months I lived in fear of policemen coming to arrest me for talking to that man.

Once my sis was using the computer, and got an illegal operation error. Me wanting to use the computer, I told her that she should get off, as if it happened again the police would come and arrest her.

I used to think that when someone was read the "Riot Act" that a policeman would pull a little card out of his pocket and read it to the bad person, like a Miranda warning.

I use to believe that cops were hiding behind every tree and bush. I would walk home from school, trying to get look behind the trees without them noticing me. I had thought since I never actually saw them, they were just really good hiders.

my mum told me she had heard an interview with santa on the radio where he had admitted that he didnt come down peoples chimneys at all but in fact visited every police station in the land to collect skeleton keys which would enable him access to every home in the land in order to leave all good boys and girls their appropriate presents.
this information meant i willingly suspended disbelief for an extra couple of years
also ended up quite traumatised when i moved out into my own home , thinking the police could get the keys back off santa and gain access any time they wanted

One year I found a kiddy tool kit under the Christmas tree, in it was a hacksaw (mistake). I set to work that day and eventually cut the back fence in half, we lived in a large property so my parents didn't realise. The same night there was a big police chase that ended in our street, I believed that the ten police cars were coming for me due to the fence shenanigans and not the armed robbers who had shot a cop. I quickly fessed up to my parents since I didn't want to go to jail, I escaped a criminal record but had my new hacksaw confiscated.

I used to believe that TV show ratings were actually law. Once I accidentally started watching an 'adults only' movie but turned it off after about five minutes, I spent the rest of the day worrying that the police were after me since I wasn't an adult.

Arguing with my friend Chris in Primary School, he told me his dad (who was a Policeman at the time) would come into school and arrest me.

My dad was a farmer. I - for some bizarre reason - retorted with the idea that my dad would run Chris over with a steamroller.

Like everyone I was taught the Lord's Prayer when I was a kid. However, the line' lead us not into temptation' I misheard as 'lead us not into Thames Station'. I imagined a scary Victorian police station in a dark, foggy London Street. Same thing, I suppose.

My dad used to drive a lot with his job, and as a kid, I would go to work with him on a weekend.

I was always worried about him speeding, so he told me that the policemen let him drive fast because he had to go a really long way.

I believed him for years on that one.