the world

I used to believe…

That the District of Columbia was an island in the Carribean. I believed this until I was about 19 yrs old.

My father once saw me put a quarter in my mouth, and told me that "I should never do that, because someone might have put it in their ass." For years, when I would see someone limping, or just walking funny, I thought I knew why.

I used to believe that when a college athlete was All-American, it meant that he was all white.

When I was 12 or 13, my parents opened a checking account for me to help me learn about financial responsibility. They told me if I wrote a bad check, the sheriff would come to our house and take me to jail. Of course, the sheriff only arrests habitual bad check writers, but they sort of glazed over that part. When I was 22, I bounced a check, and I told my boyfriend I was terrified to go home because the sheriff might be waiting there to take me to jail. He said, "WHAT?" After I explained, he said, "Well, I hate to tell you this, but Santa Claus isn't real, either."

I used to believe and argue with my neighbor friend that our house was positioned exactly in the centre of the world and that hers was just off. When I checked my "fact" with my dad he confirmed that I was right, which I was pleased about, but he added that any spot you pick is in the centre, it is just how you look at it and however big or small you make your centre. I just did not mention that last bit to my friend.

When I was small my brother and I were fighting over a single dollar bill my uncle had.
He took it and ripped it in half, then gave 1 half to each of us.
We tried to use it as actual currency/tried to tape it back together...

I used to believe that credit cards had an infinite amount of money on them, because whenever my mom didn’t have enough money, she would pull out a credit card. I thought she was such an idiot for not using it all the time.

I found my mother's "Alien" card when I was 5 years old. I actually believed my mom was an alien, until I finally asked her and she explained that she was an immigrant.

I used to believe that checks were 'make your own money' paper so you could write down any amount on them and you would have that much money. When I was about 4 I took my mom's checkbook and made each check for a million dollars so I could buy myself everything I wanted.

Needless to say, I freaked out and I thought that we'd be in so much debt because she'd shredded the check after telling me checks took money out of her bank account.

During college, my girlfriend at the time was driving me around her hometown in New Jersey. We came to a fenced area surrounding an AT&T building. There were telephone poles of varying heights stuck in the ground and they were covered with what appeared to be varying types of oil or other protectant. "That's where they grow telephone poles", she said. I burst out laughing, thinking she had made a very funny joke.
"Why are you laughing, " she said straightfaced.
Turns out her father told her this fib as a little girl - and to that day she still believed it!

I used to believe that everyone on tv (the news specifically) was famous because they were really great, good people. This is why I carried around a picture of Saddam Hussein with me at school. I wonder why my parents never bothered to stop me from doing this.

I used to believe that all of Russia was part of Asia. I believed this until I was in the 7th grade. Oddly enough, when I asked a librarian, she had no idea.

When I was a kid I thought that communism was some kind of strawberry ice cream. I came to that conclusion because I overheard adults talking about the Reds and the cold war and the only thing I knew that was red and cold was strawberry ice cream. I couldn't understand why people were afraid of it or against it.

I used to believe for far longer than I care to admit that Sinn Fein was an actual person and was amazed at how much influence he seemed to have. It was a long time efore I realised that it was a political party and the guy who I thought was Sinn Fein was in fact just Jerry Adams.

I used to think summer was a year long and would never end. The days were long and hot and I would ride my bike in what seemed years. I was not until high school that I realized in reality how short it was and it forever changed in my mind after that.

I used to believe that Chernobil was in africa and when everyone talking about the children having deformities I thought they meant when starving children's stomachs get all bloated.