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When I was around six or seven years old my mom would always make me attend Sunday School. I hated sitting there for what seemed hours, bored out of my mind. Every sunday, however, I asked my mom how long Sunday School was going to last, she would reply "A short hour" leaving me to believe that there were two versions of an hour, a long and a short one.
I also went to daycare and one day asked a teacher when lunch was, she told me it would be ready in an hour. I then asked, "A long or a short hour?" all the teachers looked at me weird and started laughing at me. My mom and I still have a good laugh at this story.
When I was three or four, there was a digital clock in my mom's car. I'd always watch the time, anticipating 11:11. I thought that the more 1s there were in a row, the easier it would be for paleontologists to find dinosaur bones, because 1 is the most bone-like numeral. Because 11:11 had four 1s, it was the best time, and I was so happy for those paleontologists. 1:11, 10:11, and 12:11 were also good times, but nothing was ever as exciting as 11:11.
When I was 8 I was convinced that I could build a working time machine using a calculator, a carboard box, and a bunch of Dad's junk from the garage. I gave up after 3 days.
I used to believe that there were only two years: 1990, and 1991. They just cycled, over and over. I remember one time my teacher asked me what year it would be next year, and I promptly responded "1990!" (it was 1991 at the time, of course). Everyone in the class laughed at me and the teacher looked at me like I had drank stupid juice that morning, or something.
We owned this huge digital clock microwave ever since I was little. Everytime 25 or 52 would appear on the clock I would pretend to drink something because the 25(digitally) looked like a bottle and the 52 looked like a goblet. Thankfully the microwave broke when I was 11, so I stopped weirding people out with my pantomine drinking.
I used to believe that a minute was a really long time. I had really long hair and so if nits were going around school I would always get them. Mum would put the nit shampoo in my hair and I would ask her when I could rinse it out and she would always say "in a minute," then leave me in the bath for an hour.
I thought a second wasn't a set amount of time but just the shortest time you could say something in. For example, I would count to 10 as fast as I could and would think that was 10 seconds
When I was about 10 years old, I thought that if I raced home from school (which let out at 3:15pm) fast enough, I could get home in time to catch my favorite cartoon starting at 3:00pm. In my mind, the faster I raced home, the more likely I was to get there at 3:00pm.
When I was little, about 3 years old, my grandma used to call perfume toilet water. One day before we went out to eat somewhere, Grandma said she was going to put on some toilet water. A few mintues after that, I was gone and my mom couldn't find me. When she finally did find me, I was in the bathroom standing in front of the toilet, sopping wet. When my mom asked me what I was doing, I replied very seriously, "I'm putting on toilet water so I can smell pretty mommy!"
When I was about 4, my mother taught me the names of the days of the week, she said "I have an idea, lets call today Tuesday, and tommorow Wednesday, etc". Until I was in 3rd grade, I would argue with kids, claiming that my mother invented the names of the days of the week!
I used to think that time zones were much smaller than they actually are so that if you left the city you lived in you would be in a different time zone.
My grandparents took me camping when I was about six and asked if I'd like to ring my parents after lunch. I told them that they'd be asleep because it was the middle of the night at home, even though we were only an hour's drive away!
I used to think that April Fools' Day was created when a grown man named John and his businessman (I don't know his name) went to the government in the '70s, demanding there be more fun in the world. After watching a video on the holiday, I got set straight.
My son always believed that tomorrow and yesterday were days of the week, so he used to say, Monday, Tuesday, yesterday, Wednesday, Thursday, tomorrow
I used to believe that, when I grew up, I would get to be older than my big sister.
This seemed logical at the time, since for every pair of male/female people I knew, the male was the eldest: my dad was older than my mum, my friend Ben was older than his sister, and... well, that was about it, actually. but to my mind, this meant that sooner or later I'd be older than my sister.
Once, when she was picking on me, I told her, "just you wait 'til I'm older than you!". She's still two years older than me, though, so we're still waiting.
I thought the big hand was for the hour and the smaller one was for the minutes until i was in third grade.
When I was kid I thought the year numbers would roll over eventually i.e after a certain year it would start over from 0 or 1. I found out the truth when it was shortly after new years day (I think it was 1991) and I asked the teacher if it would ever be 1990 again and she said no. For some reason this really bothered me at the time..
I concluded that the 'good ol' days' was actually a period of time, when everything was in sepia and people sat around outside wild west style wooden houses on rocking chairs...
Regarding Daylight Saving Time, I thought big satellite dishes absorbed and stored sunlight all day and then were "turned on" at dusk for an hour.
I used to believe that time was suspended inside vacuum sealed packages. This was why their contents didn't age. I thought that we should vacuum seal terminally ill people until medicine figured out how to heal them.
I used to believe that if a item wasn't "on sale" then you weren't aloud to buy it.