Until I was about ten or eleven, I was convinced that vampires lived behind the U-bend of our toilet, and that if I spent too long sitting on the loo that they would come up and attack me.
My sister told me that, unless I did a song and a dance after I had a poo the Toilet Monster would come and get me...
the song went "Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ugga Bugga Ug, Toilet Monster please don't come"
I used to believe that once you flushed the toliet the Rice Crispy Elves would come out of the toliet and attack you and force you to live with them in the sewer.
When I was 8 or 9, one of my friends told me that the toilet talked to her when she used it late at night. for a good 4 or 5 years, I was terrified to go at night. I'd put the lid down immediately, wash my hands, do whatever else I could to do to delay the actual flushing, and then do a flush-and-run. The toilet never did say anything, though, and somehow I was always kind of insulted that it didn't - it would talk to her and not to me.
After my sister and I watched Nightmare on Elm St. at the ages of 5 and 6, we were so afraid that Freddy Kruger would pull us through the toiled that one of us had to hold the other's hand while sitting down. That way, we could help pull each other off the toilet if the hand tried to reach up and grab us.
When I was little, I used to be scared to use the bathroom on the first floor; I had a phobia that Abraham Lincoln lived in my shower.
As a kid, I was scared of things coming out of the toilet while I was sitting on it...a rat, a snake, a hand. The worst was what I thought would come out when I was done using it. I was scared to death of getting shots, and I thought that if I kept my naked bum near the toilet for too long, a mean man would come up and jab me with a needle. When I was through using the toilet, I would turn around as fast as I could, pull up my pants, flush the toilet and RUN! I had to run downstairs and sit on the couch before the toilet was done flushing or the evil shot man could still jab me with that needle. Really stupid, but I still get freaked out when my naked bum is facing a flushing toilet.
In the boy's toilets at our primary school, there used to be 5 cubicles, however one of them never opened. For years everyone thought that a pupil had fallen down the toilet and the cubicle had been sealed. None of the teachers knew we thought this. Anyway, one parent's evening (student-teacher conference) someone's father was desperate to use the toilet so he just opened the door to the forbidden cubicle and walked in. Needless to say there was mass hysteria from the boy in the toilet, who all came screaming out. Turns out that the door had just been stuck with bubble gum. I also later found out that the teachers knew about it, but never told because they liked the idea of an emergency staff toilet that was always free and CLEAN!
I got told once by my friend that he knew someone who died by a hand that came up the toilet and pulled them in! Everytime i went toilet after that i would go armed with a Hammer from my Dad's toolbox. Waiting for the hand to appear... It never did appear! Funny That!
Used to be absolutely certain that if I didn't make it back to my room before the toilet cistern finished filling then The Incredible Hulk would chase me down. Quite what The Hulk was supposed to be doing in my toilet, I'm not sure.
When i was little i shared a room with my older twins sisters.
They used to tell me that there was a creature that lived in the toilet called "murd the turd" who would come from the toilet and kiss me if i didn't go to sleep straight away.
To scare me they used to dangle a brown stocking filled with newspaper, with legs, wobbly eyes and lips from the top bunk when i was sleeping on the bottom.
To prove that he really did exist and did visit me when i only pretended to go to sleep they would put a trail of toilet paper from the toilet to my bed head before bed time. In the morning there would be little brown footprints on the paper and a brown smear on my cheek - brown lipstick thankfully!
I used to believe that if you flushed the toilet when you were still on it your internal organs would get sucked out. The most distressing part of it all was not because that would hurt a whole lot but because they'd have to take you to the hospital sitting on the can and turn you upside-down so everything would slide back in!
When I was just learning to use the toilet, I would flush it while I sitting on it watching the water go down through my legs. Once I leand back to far and fell in, while the toilet was flushing. I got sucked down it (not all the way of course). My small little arms couldn't pull myself up. I was so scared of the toilet from then on I would use the floor as a toilet.
When I was a little kid I saw a movie where a guy was in the electric chair and I thought the toilet was a sort of elctric chair cause it had a handle too, and so when I flushed i would run screaming in fear of being electrocuted, one day my mom was on the toilet and I came in and she flushed while she was on it and I screamed 'MOMMMY your gonna be shocked run for your life!!!!! auuuggggghhhhh"
When I was 4 or five, I believed that the toilet was a portal to hell. When you flushed, it opened up the gates allowing the devil to come up and get you. I thought the devil was so mad because we dumped all our crap in his house.
i used to be terrified of the toilet suddenly flushing while i was on it and pull me into it in the process. i thought it would grab my by my shirt tail so i decided the simplest solution was to go to the bathroom in the nude. i also for some reason felt the need for someone else to wipe me. this resulted in a casual night at a restaurant when all of a sudden a naked boy came running out of the bathroom, naked, screaming "mommy i need you to wipe me". yeah, i thankfully got over this one...
I used to believe that there were two monsters in the toilet, a smart, mean one that was the boss and a dumb one that was his henchman. When you were sat on the toilet I they would be plotting how to get you once you flushed the toilet (that was the only time they could get you). I always used to open the toilet door before flushing so that I could jump out of the room before they got me. The dumb monster always used to trip up and the nasty monster would yell at him for missing me. The nasty monster was the deep noise that comes first when you flush and the hissing of the cistern filling up again was the dumb monster's whiney voice!
Up until I was 7, I believed I had to make it down the stairs before the toilet finished flushing, or else I'd be eaten by the 'Bog Monster'. I would stand as far from the toilet as possible before flushing it, then run like hell down the stairs. I used to hate going to the toilet at my gran's house because it had a very short flush and the staircase was very, very long. To make it downstairs without being eaten I had to throw myself off the last 5 or 6 steps, often smashing painfully into the hallway floor. My gran always did wonder why I had to be at bursting point before going, and why afterwards I'd always crash down the stairs and end up sprawled all over the carpet!
When I was little I use to be scared to death to flush the toilet.. I thought that when a toliet overflowed it will flow out and fill the entire room with water.. I was afraid I would drown since I didnt know how to swim at the time. That was the number one reason why I wanted to learn to swim as a child.. I wanted to be prepared in case I ever had to swim to the door once a toilet overflowed on me.
I used to believe that when a toilet gets clogged, it was because it was angry. Whenever someone took a huge dump, it would throw it back up because it didn't like it. So, whenever I got done, right after I flushed, I ran like hell out of the bathroom. I also used to believe the plunger was to fight the agrivated potty. Not only that, but if things got WAY too out of hand, our favorite Italian plumber MARIO would save the day.