general

I have a friend who says he really believed this:

When he was little, and the USA's South was still very segregated, he used to try to sneak into the "Colored Restroom". His mother would stop him every time, saying, "It's not for us to use."

He was very upset by this. He thought it was a special restroom where all the tiles were bright colors and colored water came out of all the sinks and toilets. He figured because he and his family were Italians, they could only use the restroom where all the tile was white and all the water was clear.

Makes me chuckle to this day. Since then, I've had this thought:

Wouldn't it have been great if he'd sneaked into the "Colored Restroom", and the entirety of all the great African American authors, artists and thinkers had ever been in there having a party and THAT'S why he wasn't invited?

That would've been much cooler.

helen

When I was a little boy I used to watch those Toilet Duck ads where they would clean the inside of the toilet bowl. I used to throw bread crumbs into the bowl to feed the ducks.

Linvidige

My dad used to say that the rats in the sewer are having a party when he had a pee when he got drunk,cause there was alcohol in his pee. I believed it so much that every time he said it, I went and threw lots of peanuts and crips down the loo. Well, no party without nibbles..!!!! I was only about 4 or 5.

Ren

When I was about two or three, my parents gave me my very own cardboard box and explained to me that by pretending, it could be anything I wanted it to be.

I thought it was perfectly logical to want my very own toilet, right in my own room. So I peed in it.

Thom

When I was a little girl, I was puzzled by why my father left the toilet seat up so often. Being not acquainted with the true reason men lift the toilet seat when using it, I came to the conclusion that since my father had a large butt (he happened to be a tad overweight at the time), the toilet seat was too small for him to use--thus, he had to lift the seat and use the wider rim of the toilet itself when using the bathroom. I mentioned this to my mother once, and she just stared at me, perplexed, then laughed and walked away without saying anything.

AJK

I used to think that boy's lifted the toilet seat to pee because their asses were too big.

sydo

I used to believe that when you flushed an aeroplane toilet the waste would just drop out of the plane.

Anon

I used to believe that whenever I flushed a poo, it would go down this series of pipes till most of the water ran off, at which point it would plop onto the round table of a little meeting room of ''poo'' monsters - little guys made of poo, who ate our poo to survive. :) I wasn't afraid of them, I thought they were doing us an (albeit disgusting) service, kinda like the garbage men.

MissP

When I was a kid I thought the toilet took a picture of you every time you flushed, so I would often look into the toilet bowl and smile when I flushed. I wasn't sure why, or where the pictures went, though.

Matt Wilson

I used to think that the toilets went directly to the lakes and streams. I also loved to fish, so one day when my mom would not take me I decided that I would just use the toilet. An hour latter and a full reel of line later my mom heard the contant flushing and found me "Toilet fishing"

Wolfen Bones

I had always seen the "Rest Room" sign on a door in Burger King, and I imagined that some sort of sleepy paradise was behind it: wonderful beds everywhere, lots of pillows, folks catching a nap during a hard day . . .

Anon

When I was a KID (5 OR 6yo) I thought the reason we had to use the toliet was to feed the fish that we flushed.

Stormin

I remember the first time I used the urinals at infant school - when I went to wash my hands and turned the tap on, the urinal "showers" came on at the very same moment. I spent several break-times trying to convince other kids that they could wash in the urinal by turning the tap on. Needless to say, it never did work a second time.

TC

I used to believe that my dead gran was in my toilet, just beyond the u bend. This was because when she died I was told that she had gone where my goldfish had, and I'd seen them flushed down the loo. I would sometimes sit with my head down the pan telling my gran what was going on!

Bray McCulloch

When I was young, I watched a cartoon that said that you could take a bath by sitting in the toilet, and it would whip you around right after you flushed.
I learned two things.

1. Do not ever stick your foot down the hole. It will get stuck and cost someone a whole lot of money to fix, and, someone will be very angry with the fact that you can not get out of the toilet. Trust me.

2. You, in fact, do not get whipped around. The toilet overflows around you and then you will end up with toilet water all over the floor, and in your mouth. It is disgusting.

Do not try this at home!

Silly Me...

i used to believe that water was alive and called 'mickee', so every time i flushed a toilet, i would need to stand and watch the water leave down the hole while saying, 'bye mickee bye'. i also had a pacifier at this time named pacier. it fell out of my mouth into the toilet and mickee took it, so i started talking to the bath water instead.

Anon

Our primary school toilets were very old-fashioned and had khaki-coloured doors. The cleaner's cupboard was next to the rows of cubicles and was the same length as each cubicle, but slightly wider, with two doors that were always locked. On my first time there, I thought it was a special, extra-big toilet with lots of exciting things inside. I figured it was always locked because someone else was in there and it was very popular. For years I believed this and was desperate to get in there, and I could never understand why someone always beat me to it. Even if I went in class time, it appeared to be taken. I couldn't believe my bad timing.

It was only about 5 years later when I was in there one day and the cleaner came in to get something out of the cupboard that I realised the truth.

Miranda

I used to believe our toilet was really a spaceship. I would put the lid down and sit on it backwards facing the cistern. The cistern had a red button (with the manufacturers name on) and this was the control panel which I would set before takeoff. I would then count down 5-4-3-2-1-ignition! and pull the flush handle. This bit was very scary as the toilet sounded like a rocket engine underneath me and I really thought it might blow up if there was an accident.

Having survived the mission I would stand up and go outside for a look round. The new planet always looked strangely similar to Earth but this never put me off.

Viv

When I was a kid I used to believe that when you went to the bathroom on a plane or a bus and flushed, it just fell out on the road or in the sky.

Heather

Until I was 8 or 9, I believed that "vacancy" was another word for "toilet." I don't quite remember where my original idea came from, but it probably had something to do with the toilets in airplanes and the little "Vacancy/No Vacancy" signs on the doors. Every time we drove by a motel with the "No Vacancy" sign lit up, I thought it meant the motel had no toilets, and I wondered why anyone would ever want to stay in a motel like that. I think I once excused myself from a room by telling all the adults I needed to go use the vacancy.

Anthea