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I used to believe…

When I was little I always thought that the traffic lights were not going because of electricity, but because of little men living in them. The little men would see when no cars were coming and see how the other cars were waiting. So the little man who was in charge of the green light would tell the yellow one and the yellow one would tell the red one, and the red one would unstrew his lightbulb and the yellow one would screw in his yellow lightbulb and so forth.
But I'd always wondered how they got any sleep

I used to believe…

when I was little, I never understood how my parents knew how to drive to everywhere. I thought that it was unusual that they never got lost, even on long trips. So I assumes that since you need a lisence to drive, and my parents never got lost when they drove, that the lisence had a map on the back of it that told you wherever you needed to go, so you would never get lost.

Only later did I fugure out that my parents knew where they were going becasue they got very good directions, or had already been where they were going.

I used to believe that "Oldsmobile" was a universal name for any old, big, rusty car. When I was some impressionable young age and just old enough to figure out how compound words worked, my father owned an old, big, rusty Oldsmobile. I concluded that "Oldsmobile" must mean "old + mobile."

Imagine my surprise when a few years later, he bought a new Oldsmobile that was not a rustbucket.

I used to believe…

When I was a kid, I believed that cars needed the stereo antennas in order to run. I thought that's where their energy came from. I would always put little antennas on my toy cars in order for them to be closer the being functional like "the real thing".

I always used to travel with my family when I was a little kid, so I was used to the whole airport security routine. My parents said that I couldn't say "bomb" or "gun" in the airport, and I was a good child so I didn't. However, the reason I didn't say them was because I thought that if I said those words, the security cameras would fire lasers at me and I wouldn't be allowed on the plane!

I used to believe…

When I was probably about 6, I remember seeing ads on TV reminding people not to drink and drive. I didn't know what alcohol was so I thought this applied to drinking any liquids at all. So I was very shocked and worried when I went to the grocery store with my mom one day and she got herself a soda and opened it in the car while she was driving home! I thought my mom was going to get arrested for drinking and driving.

I used to believe…

When I was little I used to think that all traffic lights were controlled by little men living underground beneath them. I used to get upset and yell at them when they would give us a red light when we were late...

I used to believe…

When I was about 5 I made up a game to play whilst riding in the car. The rules: Everyone is racing, if you pass us: disqualified, if you turn away from us: disqualified, if you don't turn with us: disqualified.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, you are reading a passage left by none other than the one and only "Running Errands with Mom Race" Champion. Just email me if you would like an autograph.

Sad part is, I am 22 and every now and then, for nostalgic purposes, I will play this game. Except now I can drive and have more control over how fast everyone is allowed to go. :)

I used to believe…

as a kid i would collect the telephone poles with my fingers as my parents drove. i would also grab trees. i always left the signs up tho. i would just pinch at the air and thought i had gotten them.

I used to believe…

Near dark when I was little, I used to see those planes that leave a long line of smoke behind them. I thought they were giant zippers that were unzipping the sky. I thought that's what made it get dark.

I used to beleive that you could never ever step on a crack, and if you did, bad things happened even if you didnt notice. so every time our car would ride over a crack, I thought the bumping feeling was the car jumping over the crack. I sometimes would help the car jump by acting lighter and jumping in my seat.

I used to beleive that the 'fast' sound the car made when it switched gears was my dad speading. so I asked him once how he chooses when to speed and when not to. thinking it was a trick question, he replied "when the cops arent watching." ever since, I thought my dad watched for police men hiding behind bushes watching him, and when they were gone he started speeding. I spent my car trips watching out for police with him, just in case he missed one and started speeding.

I used to beleive that the red and green stoplights at each intersection had seceret cameras built in and the people watching from the cameras would wait until the other side was being very polight, and then changed the light to green.

I used to believe…

When I was 2 or 3 my dad taught me "green means go, red means stop, and yellow means STEP ON IT!!!" For years I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to step on. It finally dawned on me when I was learning to drive that I was supposed to "step on" the gas.

I used to believe…

When I was in elementary school, my mother would sometimes leave me in the car while she went into the grocery store or the library. I would sit in the front seat and pretend to be dead, so that no one would kidnap me, or steal the car. It wasn't until I was about 10 that I realized that no one was going to buy my mother was driving around with a corpse in the car. Since I looked like I was sleeping (holding my breath, with my eyes closed, not moving) they could still easily have taken the car, but surprisingly, that never happened!

I used to believe that gnomes lived in stoplights. When they were having a bad day, the light would stay red for a long time. Whenever my mom ran a red light, i wouldn't be able to sleep for fear of the gnomes coming to get me!