When we were little, my mother had bought us a book titled, "How You Were Born". In this book, there was an illustration of a sperm under a magnifying glass. For years, I thought the magnifying glass was a frying pan and was totally mystified by where and how the frying pan fit into the reproductive process.

Amanda McMurray

I grew up on a farm, so I was familiar with crop farming and gardening from an early age, but had absolutely no concept of sexual reproduction until much later. As a result, when I was 5 or 6 and overheard my Mother explaining to my older sister how "the man's penis fertilizes the seed," I remember picturing a penis wearing a hat and deligently using farming tools. My sister immediately chased me away when she saw that I was intruding on their "private" conversation, so I missed hearing the rest of the lecture and was left with that absurd image in my head for years.

Anon

Once when I 8 0r 9, I heard the word "vasectomy" on TV. I asked my mom what it meant. She told me: "It's an operation that a man gets so he can't have babies." I took this to mean that I needed surgery or I could become pregnant like a woman. I was pretty freaked out, and hoped that my doctor would give me a vasectomy whenever I went in for a checkup. He never did.

B. Bell

I used to believe that a man had as many testicles as he had children. So I thought the Catholic guy next door had nine balls and that I'd only have two kids when I grew up.

Skwidy

When I was, like, 4 years old I was informed of the 'baby factory'. When ever I misbehaved, my sister, mother, aunt, etc, would threaten me with 'your going to go back to the baby factory!' So one day in a car ride I was being a little brat. Once again 'your going back to the baby factory!' came out. I said 'there is no such thing as the baby factory!' I thought i had out wit them. Turns out on the next block there was a neon sign that had 'Baby Factory' on the side. I was the best behaved child for the next 4 months or so.

mickthethief

Comment my 3 year old son made when I was trying to explain what a pregnant woman was. I said, pointing out to my son that the fat lady wasn't fat, it was just that she had a baby in her tummy. He turned to me and said, "Daddy why did that lady eat a baby?"

Max

When my mom was pregnant with one of my little sisters (I was 7), she got me books on baby development and birth because I was so curious about it all. I became quite the expert on how things worked. There was one thing I didn't understand, though:
"Mom, how does the sperm get from the man into the woman?"
"It happens when they're very close together," she said.
For years, I'd see couples sitting close together and try to see sperm flying through the air between them.

Annie

As little kids, we suffered under the delusion that foreplay included the man pulling out the woman's pubic hair, one by one, and that this action made her very excited.

veronica

I masturbated for the first time with a stuffed dog. I believed I was going to have puppies.

Not pregnant with puppies

It was the general concensus at our school that, if a girl closed her legs when you were having sex with her, the bones in her pelvis woul chop your penis off....

Ronnie