grown-ups: family

When I was about six, my grandfather told me he had the last pet pterodactyl on his block, and it got old and he remembered the day it died.
How silly of me to fall for that!

My Grandad used to sit me on his knee to play the piano and sing along... when I was 18, and long after his death, I happened to mention Grandad's piano to my mum and auntie, who took off laughing... it was only then that I realised he never owned a piano; he'd been 'playing' the edge of the kitchen table all along...

I truly thought my little brother was adopted. The rest of my family had dark brown hair and glasses. My older brother and I were often refered to as twins because we were close in age and looked alike. We also had matching baby blankets and baby books. My little brother, however, came 5 years later, with bright red hair, a chubbier build, and 20/20 vision. Not to mention the fact that he didn't have a baby blanket or baby book.
It wasn't until he grew up and began resembling Dad, that I finally believed he belonged.

As told by my mother.
When my sister was young, she was very bad and got into everything but one day they found out a way to contain her. How? Babypowder. For some reason she was deathly afraid of the white powdery substance and wouldnt go anear it. So my uncle or whomever would put babypowder to keep her out of the kitchen and once even confinded to a chair and she never left the chair not once. Thank god she isnt afraid of babypowder now though. Would be kinda funny still.

I used to think, until I was about 11, that when my parents told me to go to bed, they were trying to get me out of the way so they could invite their friends over and have a big party. I based this on the fact that I always heard the clink of dishes downstairs when I listened. A few times I actually went downand saw them putting away the dishes, but I thought that was all part of the plot to hide it from me. I felt so glad when I "figured it out"!!

When I was about 3, I began to wonder why my mom would want to spend all that time taking care of me, and thought maybe she was just putting on an act, that she was really a witch and she would eventually come clean and make me her slave. I used to sneak into her room when she was sleeping, expecting to see a black witch hat on her head.

When my little sister would make me angry, I used to tell her that the gypsies left her on the doorstep, because even the gypsies didn't want her. She believed me for many years!

Being the fifth child and only girl in the family my brothers would tell me that my parents had ordered me from the Sears catalog and that they had overheard Mom and Dad talking about having me returned to Sears/ They always assured me that if I would help with their chores they would beg Mom and Dad not to return me!

I used to believe that my family had a party when I went to sleep. I would hate falling asleep thinking they are all out there having fun without me!!

My sister was born when I was 7. My parents asked me and my male cousin, who was a year younger than I was, to be my sister's godmother and godfather. I assumed and believed for years that this meant that when I grew up I'd have to marry my cousin (since obviously the godmother should be married to the godfather!).

When I was about 3 or 4 I used the word 'adult' for the first time. Shortly thereafter my dad called me into his room. He said I was in trouble. When I asked what I had done he replied "You know what you did". I was then sent to my room to think about what I had done. The only thing I could reason was that 'adult' was a bad word. I refused to say the word 'adult' until about the 4th grade when another kid said 'adult' in front of a teacher and the principal. When he didn't get in trouble I then did a few experiments. I said "Adult" around some kids who would laugh at bad words. They didn't laugh. I then said "adult" in the coah's hearing and he didn't respond. I have still to figure out why my dad got mad at me that day when I was 3 or 4.

Gruntie

Until I was about four years old, I believed that my older half-sister was actually my cousin. We shared the same father, but she lived with her mother several states away. All but one of my cousins at the time were older than me (none the same age), and we only saw them once every few months (or even years), the same frequency that we saw her. When she came for a visit that year, I said something about her being my cousin. My mother looks at me strange and goes, "No, sweetie, she's your sister." This confused me, because all of my little friends lived with their siblings in the same house, but my sister lived far away. My mother explained it to me, but I didn't become totally un-confused until it hit me later until the concept of divorce was explained further.

When I was little and I asked my mom what year she was born in, she would consistently and earnestly answer 1961. My dad was born in 1950, and was forthcoming about it. For some reason, I mentally created two categories of grown-ups: "Young" (born 1950 or later) and "Old" (born anytime before 1950), and I was thrilled that both my parents were "young." Imagine my horror when my mom started telling me the real year she was born: 1948. I was probably 8 or 9 by then, and I refused to believe her for at least two more years until I was doing a family tree for school and I demanded she tell me the truth so I could get a good grade. Oddly enough, she's a high school teacher and most of her students refuse to believe she's in her 50s, so maybe it's not just me!

I used to think that all dads were older than moms. I think this was because both my grandpas were older than my grandmas and all my friends' dads were older than their moms. The thing is, my mom is two years older than my dad! I was relieved when I found this out, because I always got along better with boys at school who were younger than me.

When I was 4, I had a blue ball, I asked my mom who's it was, she said it was "The Family's" for a while, I thought "The Family" where some creeps who lived somewhere near my house.

When i was about 3 or 4, my mom once jokingly pretended to be a baby and said i was now her mommy and i thought she was serious, that in some strange way i was now her mother and she was now my baby daughter. I became hysterical and bawled my eyes out. Of course, she never did that again!