grown-ups: family

I used to think that everyone's grandma had the same last name, like your dad's mom had this name and my friends grandma had the exact same name. So i went up, asked my best freind how his grandma (with my last name) was doing..he said he didnt have one. I told him how sad i was. He told me he had a grandma (his last name) i never made the connection of names....i just assumed she was a different age, hence my great-grandma having a different last name then all my others.

when my sister was a toddler, my parents would jokingly tell her that her real father was the garbage man. one day when she was on the front porch with my mom, the garbage man(a large black man) was collecting trash and my sister held out of her arms and starting screaming "DaDa! DaDa!"

Once when I was maybe five or four, my sister and I were watching telly and this odd comercial came on about safety and this girl swung all the way over the top of the swingset and got turned inside out. My sister told me that was what happened, and I wasn't able to go on the swings until I was 12! i also remember asking my mum where boys weed out of and remember her distinctly telling me that boys didn't wee, it was a figment of my imagination. It was quite the oddest conversation I ever had with my mum.

i remember asking my dad 'dad when you a child had joined up writing been invented'. Bless me.

When I was younger my 2 best friends would always have to leave on the weekends to go visit thier dads because they were divorced. So I would have no one to play with each weekend. I thought that when they left on the weekends they all went to a sort of divorced fathers neighboor where there were tons of other kids to play with. So I kept asking my parents to get a divorce like every week. I'm glad they never did!

Once around Chirstmas time my parents were always in their room with the door shut. I always wanted to know what they was doing in the room alone (I was 4) so I would stand on my head to look under the crack of the door. Mom finally told me that my dad was "in trouble and was grounded until Christmas". I was mortified that parents could get in trouble too and I didn't understand who punished them. Only later did I learn they were building a dollhouse for one of my presents.

Up until about age 12 I was thoroughly convinced that my great grandfather had been on the Titanic. It turns out, he had just used the Titanic as an example to explain that he was on a big ship like that when he was in the Navy. It registered in my brain though and I remember telling all my friends at school that he had been on the Titanic. Needless to say it's impossible seeing as there weren't too many survivors and he was definitley not the right age.

When I was about 6, my brother told me I was adopted and all the pictures of me in the delivery room were really him. He also told me my parents really didn't love me. I actually believed him for several years.

An old neighbor of my grandparents was this gnarly, sea-dog-looking geezer whom I would visit when staying at my Grandparents house for summer or whatever. He used to be a merchant marine and he told me he could "breathe underwater" and that he would teach me how to do it too. My mind was blown by the idea. I was already enamored of the sea anyway so I would day dream about cruising underwater for hours without coming up for air. He never did get around to teaching me. Is that sort of thing possible?

My mom always referred to herself as being a tom-boy when she was younger. This had me pretty scared because now she was a girl. I thought that one day would also become a mom and have to have babies.

When I was young , my Mom's answer to everything was "Heaven only know's" As my brother's name was Kevin , I thought she kept saying "Kevin only know's" Boy did I think he was smart!

When I was little my mom and grandma used to say bad things about my aunt like that she was a back stabber and stuff well because they said this I was aways afraid she was going to kill me I wouldn't even eat the food she would make for me when I came to her house.

I think I am a relatively normal adult, but when I was five I used to believe that the goal of parents was to kill their kids. I remember once that I interrupted my father and he put his hand around my neck to quiet me down. I remember thinking, "okay this is it." Eventually, he let go and I thought to myself, "well, he won't do it now, there would be too many witnesses."

when i was in the second grade i was making a necklace with my mom. since i was only about 7 i liked to make necklaces. it was past my bedtime wen i got finished and i showed my older sister the necklace and said "look what i made with mommy!" and she said "only gay people make necklaces with their mommys." i hardly knew what that meant but i knew it was bad so i went to bed and thought i was gay. but i know im no t gay now cuz that was about 10 years ago.

As a child I used to sneak into my Grandparents bedroom and have a look at my Nan's jewellery..... now I thought that they were robbers and stole all the stuff from the jewellery store, so i confronted them about it, to which they just laughed :(

I WAS FOUR WHEN MY BROTHER WAS BORN AND I WAS HELD UP TO THE NURSERY WINDOW TO SEE HIM. IN MY MEMORY, I WAS STANDING & LOOKING DOWN AT HIM IN A HOLE. WHEN I HEARD HE WAS GOING TO GET A SHOT, I ENVISIONED HIM BEING SHOT WITH A MACHINE GUN. THEREAFTER I WAS TERRIFIED OF GETTING A SHOT!