grown-ups: family

Someone once told me that everyone was related to everyone else, so I used to think that if enough royalty died, my father would be made king and I'd be a princess. Only I didn't want that to happen, because I knew that, whatever my relations to royalty, they were very, *very* distant.

I used to believe that I had two fathers. Actually I knew they were the same man, but it seemed to me that I had two in some sort of surreal way. The first father was the one who was around early morning. He had tousley hair, was unshaven and just didn’t look very good. Probably he coughed a lot and maybe he was a bit grumpy. There was nothing really wrong with him, it was just that I preferred the other one. Every morning he disappeared into the bathroom and after a while, kaapow!, the second father would appear. This one had slicked back hair, a smooth face, smelled good and seemed more friendly

My father has a small scar on his forehead and when my brothers and I were young, he told us that during the war he looked out of his trench and was shot in the head with an arrow, which we believed for years, even though he was too young for WW2 and indians!!

my mom's from norway (im in the us) and naturally i was so used to any accent she mightve had that i refused to believe she actually did have one when someone told me. only when i went off to boarding school and came home a few months later did i actually notice it for the first time, and stopped being pissed at my jerk friend who i thought was making stuff up.

My brother firmly believed that our dad was Superman and that he kept his suit in a case under the bed. He searched for it many times but could never find it, 'because it was magic'. In retrospect, what a relief that he didn't find anything, I wouldn't like to think my dad was hiding tights under the bed....!

i used to believe that i was bought at the supermarket. my mum found me between the mayonaise and the frozen chickens. my family kept the receipt in case they wanted to return me.

When I was little my Grandad told me stories of when he was in the Army and had to guard Buckingham Palace in his Bear skin. I believed him when he told me that he always took Liz her first cup of tea of the day and her morning paper. He always does this for my Grandma so I did not need to doubt him.

My Uncle's old school friend was Ringo Starr, everytime I was at my grans and the telephone rang he used to say it was "Ringo wanting to know if he was going out for a pint", only when I was older did I discover they went to different schools!!

I used to think that grown-ups turned into space alienks when I didn't look at them, then, when I looked again they'd all be "normal" & "human-like"...I tried catching a few out by pretending not to look, but they always WERE faster than me... ;-)

When i was about 5 my mum used to say if i was bad she would send me to the "Jaggy Jerseys" where a man would come and collect you and take you to his house and make you wear a jaggy jersey forever and only feed you bread and water, whenever i annoyed her she would say remember the jaggy jersey man

My Mum didn't work when my brother and I were little, and at age 5 I imagined that once she'd dropped us off at school in the mornings, she then went home to sit and watch telly all day. (As I probably would have done all day if I'd been allowed to.) I was really envious and couldn't wait to be big enough to be able to just play the whole day long and not have to go to school. Didn't realise that after school comes work and also did not even consider who tidied, shopped, cleaned and worked indoors to keep the house in order. I just thought that Mum only did anything at the weekends when we were there to see her doing it. Sorry, Mum.

When I was 11, I used to believe that the way to tell how old your friend's mother was, was to add up the ages of all her children and add that figure to 25 (all mothers had their first child at 25). I was so confused because some of these mothers (by my warped logic) were 36 (if they had one child) and some were almost 100 years old (if they had loads of kids). I could not work out how my best friend's mother still looked 25, but by my own special system was actually 92.

As the youngest of 4 I used to get quite worried when my said of my brothers and sister "they break up next week" ( meaning school hollidays of course ).

My mum used to tell me that if I carried on being naughty she would send me away on the ship kolioh (pronounced col-i-ho). I was led to believe that this was a run down ship that sailed without ever docking, its bottom was full of rats and frogs and little orfan boys rowing the boat to wherever. My mum's not around now to tell me where this came from... but it used to scare the life out of me

I used to believe that unless I slept with my 2 pillows right next to each other, and my 2 smallest teddy bears on top of the pillows, my parents would divorce. I slept that way every night till I was 13! My parents (and 8 smaller siblings) really owe me one! ;)

I was the youngest of several girls and my mum and
sisters always told me that they had found me in the middle of the road in a basket and that they felt sorry for me so they decided to keep me!!! How cruel were they...! I don't think I really believed it but they used to say it so often and for years, that I sometimes wondered whether it was true!!