the best of family
When I was about 5, my dad told me and my cousins that the grease that allowed the van door to slide open was whale poop and we shouldn't touch it.
grown-ups: family
1,137 beliefs
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I used to believe that how much you loved someone could be measured by a number. I used to tell my sister I loved her 5,031. I told my other sister I loved her 5,030.
when I went to bed at night and listened to my parents downstairs laughing and talking, I imagined that they had really turned into withches(the cartoon-y kind with pointy black hats and boiling cauldron)..and had invited their wicth-y friends to cast spells and such....thye wer probably just doing crossword puzzles together and watching TV...
I used to believe that Grandpa (my next door neighbour's father) had lost his leg during a cricket match when he was, apparently, hit by a ball. In fact, he lost it in the First World War. I spent many afternoons sitting on the floor at his feet knocking on his false leg. It was hollow and made a nice noise.
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Until I was was in my twenties, I actually believed my father was deaf, in 'that' ear. :-)
I remember that at the time my little brother was born, I thought that you could rent babies from the hospital, and if you didn't like it, you would give it back. I kept asking my mom when we would give my brother back. A couple years later, I found out that babies were not born fully clothed.
When I was little, my brother and sister and I used to call one of my grandmas "regular grandma" in order to decipher between the two. One day, we went out to eat, and the waitress was about to pour my grandma some coffee. She asked, "Regular?" My grandma nodded, and she poured her some regular coffee. I was so amazed that the waitress "knew" my grandma's name.
One of my paranoid childhood delusions was to convince myself that my parents were actually spies from another country, and I wasn't their son at all. After all, why would they send me to bed at night and then stay awake themselves? I remember pressing my ear to the floor in my upstairs bedroom, trying to figure out if they were speaking Italian.
my dad told my older sis that he had never been to school. and of course she beleived him and this went on till she was about 13 and figured it out. the schooling system put her in the smart people classes to lol
my brothertold me that everytime mum and dad kissed then I would have a little brother or sister. For years I used to ask my mum every morning if she had anything to tell me. I found out later he told me a lie.
When I was young at one point I was driving my mother crazy enough one that she yelled out that she was going to the "funny Farm" , apparently 10 minutes later I came from my room with an overnight bag saying that I wanted to go also. My thinking was the funny farm was a fun circus type place and I was missing out.
Okay this actually something my sister believed but i think it's hilarious. First of all my family is the whitest white family there is but when my brother laughs his eyes srunch up like an Oriental persons would. So, my sister asked why and my grandmother told her that we had Japanese heritage in our family. She believed it for years. Turns out we are 100% Irish.
I used to believe my sister was an Alien Princess, who would be taken away from us if she was made to do housework. It took 4 years of doing her chores before I cottoned on
I used to believe that, to have kids, you didn't need to do sex. I thought you only had to kiss the loved one some certain number of times and the baby would be made from all the saliva that would be wasted in all the kisses. That's why I used to hate kissing people.
Up until I was about 9 years old, I used to think my Dad was Superman! So I used to put my fingers behind my back and ask him to use his X-ray vision to tell me how many I was holding up. He got it right EVERYTIME! I used to think he was amazing! I mean... how many people's Dad is Superman? Of course, I didn't tell anyone because I couldn't let out his secret identity. It's only now I realise I always used to ask him in his room... right infront of the mirror...
My mum and dad use to threaten they would send us to Germany to live with our brother "Helmut" if we were naughty. I always pictured this kid living in a cave in the snow with an army helmet on with a moustache. Mum still threatens us with it, and I'm 19!
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When I was a kid and I asked my mother why my dad went to work, she would say "to make money."
So I thought his job was actually making money.
When I was younger and had been naughty, my parents used to pretend to phone the doctor and ask for him to take me away. Everytime I was naughty I used to think the doctor would come and take me away!!
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I used to believe that all my aunts were related to my mother and all my uncles were related to my father.
When I was about seven my dad was awarded an 'M Phil' degree (Master of Philosophy). Because his name is Philip I was convinced that they had given him a special award that was a shortened version of his name. So I believed that if his friend Duncan had got one, it would have been an M Dunc.
My Grandad was called Ken and used to own a cafe before I was born. He also looked a bit like Colonel Sanders, so I thought he must run the whole KFC chain and that it was named after him (I kind of assumed his middle name must be Tucky). It was years before I actually bothered to think about this properly and realised it wasn't true.