grown-ups: family

I used to believe that when my parents went out for diner, they'd get desintagrated by an evil alien with a laser gun. I even had nightmares about it where I'd try to warn them, as I was the only one who could see the green monster with the huge fangs. I used to cry so much when they went out, and I'd say goodbye like I'd never see them again

A friend's older sister was mean enough to tell her little sis that she was actually adopted and that if she misbehaved, her adoptive parents would send her back where she came from, in Lituania!

When I was about 4 or 5, my dad had me convinced that he had once caught a bullet in his teeth. I believed that until I was, oh, about 12 or so, when a friend told me that was impossible and I was stupid.

I have an aunt that I resemble in every way-looks, disposition, etc. She has twin sons that are 5 years older than me, and they have always told me that I'm really their younger sister, and their dad didn't want a girl, so they gave me to my aunt's younger brother, who i believed to be my dad. The sad part is, all my life I've questioned this, and everyone just laughs like it's a big joke, but I have never had it either confirmed or denied. I'm eighteen now, and a little part of me still believes my older cousins/brothers...or whatever.

Since my relatives always acted so nice and perfect when I was around, for some reason I thought they were the only people in the world who could never make any mistakes or do anything wrong. I just figured that while other people do make mistakes and do bad things, they never did.

When I was about 4, my sister and I used to take a shower together, so she could help me wash my hair. Well one day she was washing my hair and she told me that the shampoo that she used would turn my hair into gold. Then she told me that when I fall asleep our parents would cut it all off and sell it to get money and that I would be bald, and that they didn't like bald kids so they would sell me also. She also told me that I had another sister that I didn't know about because they had sold her too. I had nightmares for about a week after that. And I also asked my parents how many children they really had.

When I was little I thought that parents had kids just so they could eat them. I remember sitting in the car once as my mom talked to one of her friends and I swore they were talking about ways to cook me.

Even though I have the most caring parents in the world; the Fairy Tale "Hansel and Gretel" scared the crap outta me and I always used to freak out when I was with my parents alone driving out in the middle of nowhere. For some reason I kept thinking they were going to drop me and my brothers and sisters off and leave us stranded. Many of my childhood road trips left me with memories of being terrified!

I used to think my grandma named my mom "Mom" and my other grandmas named my dad "Dad" and I always wondered how they knew their children were going to have kids one day! Suppose they didnt? Wouldnt it sound kind of weird?

When I was four, My father would tell me that John Wayne was his father every time there was a John Wayne film on television. Consequently I believed that John Wayne was my grandfather until I was 8

When I was little my older sister had me convinced that Mum and Dad had picked me up at the op-shop because they felt sorry for me. Every time we went past the op-shop she told me I was going home

When I was really little my sister told me I was adopted, that my parents weren't really my parents. So I would call them by their real name instead of Mom and Dad. As much as they tried to tell me I wasn't I still believed my sister.

I used to believe that my grandad was Al Jolson. And that my uncle was Rod Stewart. Basically I got confused between my family liking people and actually being them.

When I was very young, my big brother used to tell me that we had a sister living in Russia. I used to get so mad at him when he'd bring up "Svetlana" because I wanted to be our family's only girl child! He used to pretend to call her on the phone & have conversations with her & everything. I hated Svetlana! My brother somehow even got our mother to play along, too! I forget Svetlana's reasons for being in Russia as opposed to being in America with the rest of the family...boarding school, perhaps?

Once we (my siblings and I) were baby-sitting a very young boy who had just discovered that his parents have "real" names, and that "Mommy" and "Daddy" are more like titles. Sharing his pride at his discovery, we asked him what his Daddy's real name is. He said "Brian." Then we asked him what his Mommy's real name is. He said "Honey." (Her name is Marion.) We thought this was very cute!

When I used to talk too much as a child (which was quite often) my mother used to trick me by making me play "the silent game" - see how long you can not talk for. I did actually think this was a fun game, even though I wasn't very good at it.

I also used to be very un-cooperative about getting dressed sometimes, so to get my cooperation this is what my mother would say: "Do you want to put your shoes and socks on before or after you eat your toast?" I would happily reply "after I eat my toast", then happily put my shoes on after eating my toast - thinking I had got exactly what I wanted.