grown-ups: family

When I was very young, my sister convinced me that we were a part of an elephant's dream. She said if I made too much noise or jumped around too much I would wake up the elephant and when his dream ended, I would cease to exist. This terrified me into being quiet and remaining still.

I used to believe that my mother was really terrible at scraping out the bowl when making a cake. I believed this until I was 27 when I was baking a cake with her and showed her how well I cleaned out the bowl and she revealed her evil secret...she always left a little for me!

I used to call my granparents Omi and Opi, thinking that it was their real names. At the time I thought how cool that they met and their names rhymed, it wasn't until I was about 8 that I realised that Omi and Opi are grandma and grandpa in german.

When I was a little girl my dad closely resembled William Shatner on Star Trek. I asked my dad if that was his brother and he said yes. So, of course, I believed him. The same thing with my uncle who looked like the country singer Don Williams. He said "Sure he's my brother!" I was soooo clueless about how families work. I told everyone that Captain Kirk and Don Williams were my uncles.

When I was a child I thought my father was so smart, I could't believe he was't the nation's president. I thought if he were, all the nation's problems would be solved in days.

When I was little I used to think that my family, friends, and everyone else, were all robots and I was the only real human being in the world. I was always scared they were gonna do experiments on me D:

When I was young, I was convinced that my nightlight turned itself off after I fell asleep. I would try to stay up as long as I could (usually only about 9 o'clock) but it never turned off. It wasn't until I was about seven years old that my parents finally told me they would come into my room when I was asleep to turn it off.

I used to think my dad knew where every place on earth was. One time after playing with a random kid at the park, I asked him if I might go over to her house later, and he just shook his head and said "Maybe." Later he admitted he didn't even know who I was talking about!

I also remember that my parents used to tell me and my brothers if you crossed your eyes for a long time you might stay like that forever. Currently I see that my parents were not very kind when they frightened us with silly things like this.

I used to believe my Dad when he said he could lift a house with his hands, but he couldn't show me cos he'd break the furniture inside. I used to tell all my friends how strong he was!

There are seven years between me and my closest sibling. When I was little my older brother and sister told me that our mom paid them five dollars a day to talk to me. They also said that if they were nice to me when they talked they got an extra ten dollars. This infuriated me as a child and I would refuse to talk to them! I guess it kept me out of their hair!

when i was little i used 2 think that my mom went up 2 strangers when she was pregnant with me asking "would u like 2 b my baby's aunt?" i never realized that my aunts were my mom's sisters until I was about 8 or 9 . . .haha

From watching movies and my mom's soap operas, I used to believe that if you loved someone a lot, you French kissed them (although I didn't know it was called that), and since I loved my parents and brother's a lot, I should French kiss them. My mom set me straight on that pretty quickly.

Once around Chirstmas time my parents were always in their room with the door shut. I always wanted to know what they was doing in the room alone (I was 4) so I would stand on my head to look under the crack of the door. Mom finally told me that my dad was "in trouble and was grounded until Christmas". I was mortified that parents could get in trouble too and I didn't understand who punished them. Only later did I learn they were building a dollhouse for one of my presents.

When I was 10 my mom always talked about how much better than I was at my brother's age than he was. I thought parents got 1 good kid and 1 bad kid. Luckily, I was the good kid.

My parents used to joke around with my sisters and I, saying that my mother's full name was Merci beaucoup (means thanks you very much in french).. (moms name is marcy) So forever we thought that Merci beaucoup was her full name. My sister, only about 5 years old got lost in a target. When we found out she was missing we started looking around for her, only to hear the customer service intercom caller saying "will Merci beaucoup please come up to the service desk, your daughter is here!"

i used to think that you god father/mother were the people that were related to god in your family. i thought they were sent by god to watch you constantly, but you just couldn't see them.